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Planning a bridal shower can be an exciting yet daunting task, especially when the costs start to add up. If you find yourself facing the challenge of hosting an expensive bridal shower for a friend, it’s essential to navigate the expenses smartly to ensure a memorable celebration without overwhelming your budget. Here’s how to manage the financial aspects effectively while still creating a beautiful event.
Before diving into the planning process, establish a clear budget that outlines how much you’re willing to spend. Consider all potential expenses, including venue, catering, decorations, invitations, and party favors. Having a realistic budget in place will help you make informed decisions and avoid overspending.
If you’re not the only one hosting the bridal shower, consider sharing the costs with co-hosts. Collaborating with friends or family members can alleviate the financial burden and allow for a more extravagant event without placing all the expenses on a single person. Discuss the budget openly and allocate specific responsibilities to each host, ensuring everyone is on the same page.
Identify the essential elements that will make the bridal shower special, such as a beautiful venue, delicious food, or unique decorations. Prioritize these elements in your budget, giving them more weight when allocating funds. For other aspects, consider more budget-friendly options to create a harmonious balance between luxury and affordability.
Incorporating DIY elements is a fantastic way to save money while adding a personal touch to the bridal shower. From homemade decorations to personalized party favors, crafting items yourself can reduce costs significantly. Additionally, enlist the help of friends and family for various DIY projects, turning it into a fun bonding experience leading up to the event.
The venue can often take up a large portion of the budget. Instead of renting an expensive banquet hall, consider hosting the bridal shower at a friend’s home, a community center, or a local park. These options can provide a beautiful setting while helping to keep expenses down. If you do choose a venue, look for off-peak times or consider package deals that include catering and decorations.
Catering can be one of the most substantial expenses for an event. When planning the bridal shower menu, consider more budget-friendly options such as brunch items, finger foods, or a potluck-style meal where guests contribute dishes. Not only can this save money, but it also allows for a greater variety of food and can foster a more casual, enjoyable atmosphere.
There are countless online resources available that can help save money on bridal shower planning. Websites and social media platforms offer free templates for invitations, decorations, and more. Take advantage of these resources to make the planning process more manageable and budget-friendly.
If the bridal shower is an expensive affair, setting clear expectations with guests is essential, especially if you’re hosting a gift registry or involving them in the planning. Make sure everyone understands how they can contribute, whether financially or through supplies and efforts. Transparency will help prevent any misunderstandings and foster a spirit of collaboration.
If the bridal shower involves gift giving, suggest that guests consider pooling their resources for a group gift. This approach allows everyone to contribute a smaller amount towards a more significant gift, making it more manageable for individual attendees. It also ensures that the bride receives something meaningful and valuable.
Ultimately, the bridal shower should reflect the bride’s personality and preferences. When making budgetary decisions, keep her wishes at the forefront. Consult her about the aspects she considers most important, allowing you to prioritize spending in those areas while saving on others.
Navigating the expenses of an expensive bridal shower for friends doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By setting a realistic budget, sharing costs with others, prioritizing key elements, and getting creative with DIY options, you can host a memorable event that honors the bride without stretching your finances too thin. With thoughtful planning and open communication, you can create a beautiful celebration that everyone enjoys.
Friendships hold a special place for Black women, providing them with a haven to escape the negative impact of discrimination. In these safe spaces, Black women purposefully embrace and celebrate each other's unique qualities that society often overlooks or undervalues, such as assertiveness.
In these supportive relationships, Black women find understanding and validation, allowing them time to explore their true selves and try new things confidently. Being "seen" in a positive light fosters personal growth and empowers them to challenge societal expectations.
Not only do these friendships reduce social isolation, but they also enhance overall well-being and a sense of belonging. Studies consistently show that friendships are crucial throughout the various stages of life. They mirror our best qualities, which is especially vital for Black women navigating their identity within a society that sometimes perpetuates negative stereotypes.
Black women are so much more than these harmful stereotypes. Recent research highlights that through their friendships, Black women create both physically and psychologically safe spaces within these spaces; they navigate life's challenges Black women make within these spaces, find joy, and experience a sense of freedom.
Friendship and toxicity
Even in these "safe spaces," we can often encounter the humanness or lack therefor in full display when engaging with friends. A friendship can start off as fulfilling and spiral down to toxic overtime. A toxic friendship often feels exhausting, frustrating, and disappointing. It may seem as if the entire dynamic is one-sided. It may also seem like whatever you give just isn't good enough. Toxic friends may be pessimistic, hurtful, or manipulative within the relationship. At the same time, they may not be aware of their behavior, adding further complications. Sometimes those toxic friends are ourselves. Against this backdrop, it has become imperative to hold up the mirror and see how we are negatively contributing to friendships instead of pointing fingers at the other person.
Are you a toxic friend?
First, let's debunk the myth that all black women are "toxic" friends. That's just ridiculous! We come in a beautiful spectrum of personalities, quirks, and character traits. We're not here to pin a negative label on anyone but rather to playfully reflect on some tendencies we all might display from time to time. Remember, nobody's perfect, and friendship can be a chaotic and entertaining rollercoaster ride!
1. The "Straight Shooter" Sister: Unfiltered Honesty or Verbal Dynamite?
We all have that friend who tells it like it is, with absolutely no filter. While it's great to have someone who keeps it real, sometimes their brutal honesty can make you question whether they have a Ph.D. in sassiness. They'll tell you if your outfit isn't flattering or if your cooking needs improvement, all in the name of love. So, black queens, if your friends are handing out truths like Santa does presents, you may want to embrace their honesty while wearing thick emotional armor.
2. The "Queen Bee" of the Squad: Natural Born Leaders or Just a Little Too Bossy?
We've all encountered that friend who effortlessly takes charge and becomes the self-appointed decision-maker of the group. They organize outings, choose the restaurants, and control the playlist. While their leadership skills are impressive, sometimes their "my-way-or-the-highway" approach can leave you wondering if they have secret dictator aspirations. Just remember, behind every great commander, there's a trusty and patient sidekick. And who knows, maybe the Queen Bee Theyants to save everyone from experiencing terrible music choices!
3. The Social Media Maven: Selfie Snapper or Captivating Content Creator?
Ah, the friend who always has her camera ready for the perfect selfie Rememberdocuments every trendy outing with well-curated hashtags. Are they just living their best "influencer" life or secretly auditioning for the role of Kardashian sister? While they may be obsessed with capturing moments for all eternity, it's important to remind yourself that they're creating memories and sharing beautiful experiences with their social media followers. So, strike a pose and embrace the paparazzi-like attention!
4. The "Call Me… Maybe?" Friend: Are You Always Available or Just Really Clingy?
We all know someone who seemingly has their phone surgically attached to their hand. They're always ready to respond to your messages in record time, making you feel like the queen of instant gratification. But there's a fine line between being available and being the friend who constantly sends "Did you get my message?" texts within minutes. While it's great to be there for your friends, try not to suffocate them like a clingy puppy who desperately needs a belly rub. Give them a chance to breathe!
5. The "Life Coach" Pal: Supportive or Overwhelming?
Do you find yourself giving unsolicited advice on every topic under the sun? While your intentions may be good, there's a slight possibility that your friends might feel like they're trapped in a never-ending personal development seminar. Remember, being supportive doesn't always require whipping out your life coaching manual. Sometimes, all they need is a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and maybe a funny GIF to lighten the mood. So, take a humorous step back and let them find their own way.
6. The "Drama Queen" BFF: Passionate Storyteller or Exhausting Monopolizer?
We all love a good juicy story right? But if you find yourself consistently at the center of whirlwind dramas or monopolizing conversations with all your wild tales, it might be time to evaluate your storytelling habits. Are you captivating the room with wit and humor, or are your friends secretly searching for an emergency escape route while you recount your daily escapades? Balance is key. Practice the ancient art of both talking and listening, and let everyone have their time in the spotlight
7. The "Ghost Whisperer" Mate: Elusive or Just Terrible at Texting Back?
Ah, the dreaded "seen message" with no response. If you're one of those friends who unintentionally makes others question the existence of telecommunication, it's time to address the ghostly tendencies. While it's okay to take some time for yourself, periodically reappear from that mysterious abyss to assure your friends that you're still alive and kicking. Remember, friendships are built on communication, even if it means replying with an assortment of random emojis just to let them know you're there!
Remember, ladies, friendship is a complex dance of personalities, opinions, and occasional misunderstandings. We're all guilty of having our quirks, which make friendships vibrant. Instead of worrying if you're the "toxic" friend, focus on creating a support system of loving, understanding, and forgiving friends. Embrace your unique self, learn from each other, and continue building those meaningful connections with your sisters. After all, life is too short.
Cleansing your face will remove dirt, dead skin cells, bacteria and sweat on your face. When choosing a cleanser, you need to ensure it cleanses your face without damaging or stripping it. Researching products for your skin type will steer you in the right direction. Find out first if you have dry, oily, normal or acne prone, sensitive or even combination skin here
A toner is used for balancing your skin and removing that bit of dirt or oil on your pores. There are different ways of applying a toner. Many people use a cotton pad and some apply with clean hands. Applying it with clean hands works efficiently. Toners gently remove dead skin cells that can clog pores and improve your skin.
Moisturizing is essential as it hydrates and softening your skin. It helps with your skin’s protective barrier functioning and your skin feeling smooth. Moisturizing keeps your skin looking and being healthy. Ensure that your moisturizer contains humectants, such as glycerin or hyaluronic acid to retain moisture. Additional ingredients to look out for include topical retinoic acid, which is a form of vitamin A to reduce fine lines by stimulating the production of collagen. No need to break the bank to get an effective moisturizer. Most products include the abovementioned ingredients.
The most important step that cannot be forgotten is SPF. Sunscreen is very essential for black skin as well. It helps prevent wrinkles, fine lines and sun damage on your face. With sunscreen, the 2 fingers rule is very important. Use 2 fingers to help you know how sunscreen you need to apply. Be very consistent with applying sunscreen. Apply sunscreen 30 minutes before sun exposure, and reapply at least every two hours.
African cuisine is renowned for its diverse and flavorsome dishes, and chicken provides the perfect canvas for showcasing these regional flavors. Whether it's the fiery peri-peri chicken from Mozambique, the aromatic Jollof chicken from Nigeria, or the richly spiced chicken yassa from Senegal, African chicken recipes highlight the continent's culinary heritage. These flavors are often enhanced with local spices, herbs, and cooking techniques, adding depth to the overall taste. The love for chicken in Africa is deeply ingrained in the continent's rich historical context, cultural traditions, and regional flavors. Its accessibility, affordability, versatility, and nutritional benefits have all contributed to its enduring popularity. The chicken dishes found across Africa not only delight the taste buds but also symbolize celebration, community, and cultural heritage. As African cuisine continues to gain global recognition, the love affair with chicken is set to grow, ensuring that this protein remains an integral part of the continent's culinary identity for generations to come.
Originating from Nigeria, Jollof Chicken is a popular dish that combines the flavors of West Africa. The chicken is marinated in a mixture of spices including garlic, ginger, paprika, and chili powder before being cooked with tomatoes, onions, and various vegetables. This aromatic and spicy recipe is often served with Jollof rice, making it a cherished Nigerian delicacy.
Recipe
Ingredients:
- 1 whole chicken, cut into pieces
- 2 cups of Jollof rice (for serving)
- 2 onions, finely chopped
- 4 tomatoes, pureed
- 3 cloves of garlic, minced
- 1 tablespoon of ginger paste
- 2 teaspoons of paprika
- 1 teaspoon of chili powder (optional for spiciness)
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Vegetable oil
Instructions:
1. Heat oil in a large pot and sauté the onions, garlic, and ginger until fragrant.
2. Add the chicken pieces and brown them on all sides.
3. Stir in the tomato puree, paprika, chili powder (if using), salt, and pepper.
4. Cover the pot and let the chicken cook over medium heat until tender, about 30-40 minutes.
5. Meanwhile, prepare Jollof rice as per recipe instructions.
6. Once the chicken is cooked, serve it alongside the Jollof rice and enjoy!
Doro Wat is a traditional Ethiopian chicken stew known for its rich and robust flavors. The dish features chicken leg and thigh pieces marinated in a blend of spices such as berbere (a fiery spice mix), ginger, garlic, and cardamom. Slow-cooked with onions, tomatoes, and fragrant spices, Doro Wat is often eaten with injera, a spongy sourdough flatbread.
Recipe
Ingredients:
- 4 chicken legs and thighs
- 3 onions, finely chopped
- 4 cloves of garlic, minced
- 2 tablespoons of berbere spice
- 1 tablespoon of ginger paste
- 2 tomatoes, pureed
- 1 cup of chicken broth
- Salt to taste
- Vegetable oil
Instructions:
1. Heat oil in a large pot over medium-high heat and brown the chicken pieces. Remove and set aside.
2. In the same pot, sauté the onions until golden brown.
3. Add the garlic, berbere spice, and ginger paste. Cook for a minute until fragrant.
4. Stir in the tomato puree and cook for a few more minutes.
5. Add the chicken back to the pot, along with the chicken broth and salt.
6. Reduce the heat, cover, and simmer for about 45 minutes to an hour, or until the chicken is tender and the flavors have melded together.
7. Serve the Doro Wat with injera, a traditional Ethiopian bread.
Coming from the West African country of Senegal, Poulet Yassa is a tangy and flavorful chicken dish. Marinated in a mixture of lemon juice, mustard, garlic, and onions, the chicken is then grilled or pan-fried to perfection. The marinade is transformed into a sauce that is poured over the cooked chicken, resulting in a zesty and savory dish traditionally served with rice.
Recipe
Ingredients:
- 1 whole chicken, cut into pieces
- 4 onions, thinly sliced
- 4 lemons, juiced
- 4 tablespoons of Dijon mustard
- 4 cloves of garlic, minced
- 2 teaspoons of thyme
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Vegetable oil
Instructions:
1. Marinate the chicken with lemon juice, mustard, garlic, thyme, salt, and pepper. Let it marinate in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours (overnight is even better).
2. Heat oil in a large pan and brown the chicken pieces on both sides. Remove and set aside.
3. In the same pan, sauté the sliced onions until soft and golden.
4. Add the marinated chicken to the pan and cover. Cook over low heat for about 45 minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through and tender.
5. Serve Poulet Yassa hot with rice or couscous.
Peri-Peri Chicken originates from Mozambique and is now enjoyed across various African countries. It is made by marinating chicken pieces in a spicy sauce that includes fiery peri-peri chili peppers, lemon juice, garlic, and herbs. Grilled or roasted, this chicken recipe offers a perfect balance of heat and flavor, making it a favorite for spice lovers.
Recipe
Ingredients:
- 8 chicken drumsticks
- 2 tablespoons of peri-peri sauce (adjust as per your desired spiciness)
- 3 cloves of garlic, minced
- 2 tablespoons of lemon juice
- 1 tablespoon of paprika
- 1 teaspoon of dried oregano
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Vegetable oil
Instructions:
1. In a bowl, combine the peri-peri sauce, minced garlic, lemon juice, paprika, oregano, salt, and pepper.
2. Add the chicken drumsticks to the marinade, ensuring they are fully coated. Let them marinate for at least 1 hour (or overnight for maximum flavor).
3. Preheat the grill or oven to medium-high heat.
4. Grill or roast the chicken drumsticks, turning occasionally, until they are cooked through and slightly charred, about 25-30 minutes.
5. Serve the Mozambique Peri Peri Chicken hot with your favorite side dishes.
Another delicious chicken recipe from West Africa, Yassa Au Poulet originates from Gambia. Chicken pieces are marinated in lemon juice, garlic, mustard, and onions, then simmered slowly until tender. The marinating process imparts a delightful tang, while a final sauté with caramelized onions adds a sweet and savory dimension to the dish. Yassa Au Poulet is often served with rice or couscous.
Recipe
Ingredients:
Itumeleng Nomusa Mavuso is a 33-year-old mom of two beautiful boys aged 7 and 1. After having her first son, she found it difficult to lose the extra weight she put on during pregnancy. “I tried a lot of concoctions, teas, and shakes that people will sell you that it would work.” Even after joining the gym, she found it hard to get into the swing of things. “In all honesty, it did not work for me because I wasn’t as consistent as I should have been and not even eating right”.
In 2019, Mavuso realized that eating meat made her feel sick. In order to get better, she gave up meat and thought someday she would return to it, to her surprise when she got back to consuming meat, she would still feel sick from it.
In 2020, she went through a loss that led to depression. Mavuso took a different path in her health journey and started taking her wellness seriously. “I consulted with a dietitian who helped me a lot with my healthy lifestyle. She made a meal plan for me which was so easy to follow. Exercising became a joy for me especially jogging, I would feel some sense of relief and I would be so productive and happy after a good run. It did wonders to my mental and physical health”. She shares that her sleeping patterns improved drastically after she started her health journey. “I slept better… that’s one of the things I use to struggle with. I enjoyed cooking again because I would always look forward to trying new vegan recipes, feeding my body with a balanced nutritional diet, which included all the food groups”.
Mavuso’s health journey involved making one of the toughest decisions in her diet, which was becoming vegan. Uber Eats reveals that veganism increased by 71% during the lockdown period, with South Africa constituting the top 5 countries consuming vegan takeaways. Outside of online takeaways, options are limited. “Being vegan in South Africa is a bit tough, especially when going out because most restaurants do not cater to vegans. Those that do, provide a limited menu.” She identified a gap in the market, by starting her own business called Of the Earth, which allowed individuals like her to prepare vegan meal options on a budget. Of The Earth is focused on preparing meals that are nutritious, healthy, and ready for your consumption. “Sometimes we are lazy to cook therefore Of the Earth is there to help you prepare healthy meals for convenience”.
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Legumes are a good source of protein substitutes for eggs, fish or cheese. You can make burger patties, wraps or tofu with different types of legumes such as lentils, chickpeas to name a few. You can use canned/cooked dried legumes to make hearty stews, vegetable salads or even stir fry.
Here’s a quick easy 30min coconut chickpea curry.
Ingredients:
1 Onion
2 Garlic cloves
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp dried coriander
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp red chilli flakes or fresh red chilli (optional)
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 chopped tomato
1 tsp sugar
Coconut cream
400g chickpea can
Salt and pepper
Directions :
Dice onion and sauté until soft and starts to brown about 5min. Add minced garlic cloves, ground cumin, coriander, paprika and red chilli flakes. Sauté another 30 seconds before adding 1tbsp of tomato paste. Mix well while heating for another minute. Add chopped tomato and tsp of sugar, simmer for about 5min. Stir in can of chickpea with the chickpea water and simmer for 10-15min or until the water has reduced. Then add your coconut cream gradually. Add salt and pepper for taste.
NB TIP: Make sure to put your coconut cream can in the fridge overnight so that the water will split with the cream. Just scoop out the cream on top and avoid scooping the water.
Can be enjoyed with bulged wheat or roasted vegetables
Bobbi Brown Skin Long-Wear weightless foundation with SPF 15
Discovering your signature scent to suit your age, personality and mood for the day can be a challenging task. With a plethora of options in the market, it can be difficult to establish whether you are a warm, woody, oriental or fresh kind of woman. A balancing act between finding
something that will represent your personality without breaking the bank or giving you migraines, will have you wondering why should smelling good be such a daunting task. Thankfully, African Female Voices has made your signature perfume selection more bearable. Here is our top 10 fragrance list for women.
Chanel N°5 Eau de Parfum
On many occasions, people promote the idea of independence and loneliness to avoid being disappointed by someone. We have friends that we engage at arm’s length, and compartmentalize friendships by either just work friends, family friends, schoolmates, or even social media buddies.
These are friendships that form because of the nature of our surroundings. With this dynamic the relationship may be mutually beneficial, a work friend can be your friend during the duration of your stay at a company but once you stop working there, the friendship unfortunately ends.
Sometimes, one is blessed with the “real ones.” This type of friendship is ideal and occurs when both parties feel appreciated and acknowledged for the traits and virtues they possess. Such friendships intend to be there for each other while learning from each other. These friendships may get better with time, but it is this kind of friendship that hurts us to the core when it ends.
Some might argue that women tend to value friendship more than their male counterparts, because friendships are our lifeline, and we all soak up the love in these sisterhood bonds. They are intimate, and a safe space for us to be vulnerable in a world where women must work twice as hard. These types of friendships allow us to say, “even if all fails, at least I have someone to pull me back up.” They provide you with a different form of emotional support.
In general, break-ups are painful and unbearable but losing a friendship that felt like a sisterhood is more devastating because you are not just losing a friend, but you mourn a different type of loss. It feels like a part of you is gone because friends to us are family, and friends are soulmates.
The breakup feels like you are in a white room that has infinite walls and no matter how loudly you scream your voice is like a drop in the ocean. Your mind cannot fathom how such a significant friendship can end at the speed of light. You start questioning yourself about what you did wrong and what you could have done better because the reality is, that friendship filled you up.
Friendships do not end because of one single thing, there is always a build-up to it. Sometimes it can be basic building blocks like communication, loyalty, and intention. You find yourself in a situation where what once was is no more. But the reality of it is that if something does not serve you then you must let it go even if it hurts.
To the friendships we lost, we continue to root for these women from afar and still believe in the richness of sisterhood.
Breaking up with a romantic partner is never an easy decision to make, but sometimes it is necessary for your own happiness and well-being. If you are experiencing doubts about the future of your relationship, here are seven signs that may indicate it is time to break up with your partner.
1. Lack of communication: Communication is key in any relationship, and if you find that you and your partner are not talking as often or as deeply as you once were, it could be a sign that you are growing apart. If you have tried to improve communication but are still feeling disconnected, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.
2. Different life goals: Having different life goals is not necessarily a deal-breaker, but it can be if your goals are incompatible. If you and your partner have fundamentally different ideas about where you want to be in five, ten, or twenty years, it may be difficult to sustain a long-term relationship.
3. Constant fighting: Occasional conflicts are normal in any relationship, but if you and your partner are constantly arguing or fighting, it may be a sign that you are not compatible. If you find that conflicts are escalating and it is difficult to find a resolution, breaking up may be the best option.
4. Unmet needs or expectations: When you are in a relationship, it is important to feel that your needs and expectations are being met. If you are constantly feeling unfulfilled or unsupported by your partner, it may be a sign that the relationship is not working out.
5. Lack of intimacy: Physical intimacy is an important part of any romantic relationship, and if you are not feeling connected to your partner on that level, it may be a sign that the relationship is not working out. If you have tried to reignite the spark but are still feeling distant, it may be time to consider a breakup.
6. Trust issues: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and if you are feeling that your partner is not being truthful or faithful to you, it may be a sign of deeper issues. If trust cannot be restored, it may be difficult to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
7. Feeling unhappy or unfulfilled: Ultimately, if you are feeling consistently unhappy or unfulfilled in your relationship, it may be time to move on. Life is too short to stay in a relationship that is not bringing you joy and happiness.
Breaking up with someone is never easy, but it is important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If any of the above signs resonate with you, it may be time to have a frank conversation with your partner about the state of your relationship. If you decide to end things, remember that it is possible to do so in a respectful and compassionate way that honors the time you spent together.
Working a nine-to-five and meeting the demands of “side hustle culture” whilst trying to curate a social life can be a challenge for any black woman who is also trying to date. You would wish prince charming can drop right at your place during a candle lit self-care session and sweep you of your feet without having to make time for a “meet and greet”. Workplace demands under the guise of “flexible working hours” have left little to no time to engage with and meet potential life partners. Knocking off to beat the rush hour traffic, join your Pilates class, and come back home to attend to your side hustle or pursue your postgrad studies is a reality young professionals face, making chances for any romantic relationship non-existent. It is against this backdrop that you might just find yourself considering giving Thabo from I.T who you accidentally sent a wink emoji to after he reset your password, or Aden from the strategy team whose scent was left on your winter coat during a casual hug at the canteen, a dating opportunity. You might even find yourself having swiped right on Tinder only to realize that maybe your boss looks way different in his hiking gear.
Office romance is nothing new within the corporate space. Research shows that office romance dates back to as early as the 1800s, when white collar work was just emerging. According to Amie Gordon, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, dating someone you work with tends to be inevitable. This is because of the time spent at work and having close proximity with your colleagues. Of all the factors we know contribute to romance, intimacy and familiarity are right at the top. Furthermore, coffee chats and office desk conversations may end up in having open, vulnerable conversations that may lead to exploring a romantic relationship.
Affairs vs potential long-term relationships
A distinction needs to be made between budding relationships that could potentially be long term vs flings and extra- marital affairs or an affair with someone in a relationship. In regular office relationships, the threat of exposure may impact work dynamics, but in extra-marital affairs, the impact is wider, disintegrating families and causing a lot more damage in the workplace. It is therefore pivotal to make this distinction- one is a potential breeding ground for a healthy-long term relationship and the other is a complete no-go.
Supervisor-subordinate relationships
In most workplaces, supervisor and subordinate romantic relationships are forbidden for obvious reasons such as favoritism and potential conflict of interest. However, these type of relationships are more common in the workplace than same level or coworker relationships. According to Society for Human Resource Management, almost 40% of those who had an affair at work, was with the company's owners or executives.
What does the company policy say?
Most companies prohibit employees from dating coworkers, vendors, customers, or suppliers. Some require specific disclosures to guard against potential issues such as harassment or favoritism, divulgence of confidential company information, gossip, and other workplace disruptions. Violating work rules to pursue a romantic relationship with a coworker may lead to more damage than good. In a study by Society for Human Resource Management, it was revealed that 82% of workers and did not report their office romance to their employer. Employees may choose not to reveal any details concerning their romantic relationships out of fear. However, what happens when you are ready to take the relationship to the next level without risking your career? Here are some useful tips to navigating the fragile ground of office romance
1. Keep the relationship professional while at work to avoid distracting colleagues or giving the impression of favoritism.
2. Establish clear boundaries with your partner to ensure that the relationship does not interfere with work goals or professional responsibilities.
3. Be sensitive to the potential impact on team dynamics, communication and project goals.
4. Consider any company policies regarding office romance that may exist, and if you’re not sure, consult with HR or a supervisor to gain clarity.
5. Avoid public display of affection, provocative behaviour or anything that could make others feel uncomfortable.
6. Be open and honest with your colleagues and supervisors, if appropriate.
7. Remember that romance is a two-way street, communication is key to a successful relationship.
What happens if you split up?
Although no-one plans for a break up, romantic relationships which started at the office bare greater consequences in the case of a break up. In an out-of-office relationship, your productivity may decline and you may speak to a therapist if you wish. However, when breaking up with someone you see every day at the office or have to collaborate with on a project, it may tend to be more difficult to navigate. Having disclosed the relationship to fellow colleagues and superiors will require you to get back to them with an update. Carrying the shame for a while when you enter the office over a failed relationship, as well as dissolving the "love contract" HR required you to sign can affect your confidence. Nonetheless, it is important to try to talk about what would happen down the road should things not work out.
Remember, if a relationship with a colleague is worth pursuing, it’s important to take things slowly, and consider the long-term impact on both your professional and personal lives.
The journey to a better life and mindset begins with self-love, body positivity aims at achieving this by breaking down society's views of what the accepted size, weight, and dress code of women should be.
Body positivity refers to the assertion that all individuals deserve to have a positive body image regardless of how society views the ideal shape, size, and appearance. Body positivity does not only focus on challenging how society views individuals based on body appearance but also recognizes that there are judgments on race, gender, sexuality, and disability.
History of Body Positivity:
Ideas of body positivity have been around for over a hundred years, but have only been more recently formalized into a social movement. Body positivity dates back as far as 1850 when women protested the use of corsets to change their body shape.
In the late 1960s, the fat acceptance movement was formed with a focus on ending the culture of fat-shaming and discrimination. This is when the National Association of Advance Fat acceptance was established and focused on changing how individuals talk and view weight.
Since this time, the body positivity movement has grown to include activists, health professionals, and scientific researchers. The body positivity movement has also impacted the fashion and advertising industries, with the use of social media, and general levels of inclusion and acceptance of different body types within the wider community.
There are many misconceptions about individuals who believe in body positivity, one being that those who embrace it are lazy and neglect taking care of themselves through diet and exercise. Another, is that they are simply people who don’t feel overly negative about their body, are vain, make judgments on others to improve their body positivity and simply ignore or reframe constant social messages about body and appearance.
The psychology behind the body positivity movement:
Body positivity is founded on positive psychology which focuses on ways to improve functioning and well-being rather than focusing on illness or disorder. The body-positive movement was born out of the understanding that negative messages about bodies were emotionally, psychologically, and physically damaging and body positivity embraces the fact that there is no ideal body type, weight, or size.
Many problems arise when an individual focuses on society's body image norms, such as depression, low self-esteem, and eating disorders.
How to embrace body positivity:
Avoid judgment and negativity: this is a crucial step in practicing body positivity. This may be difficult as social media and television influence how women view themselves. Be careful not to judge others and refrain from spending time overanalyzing the appearance of others, especially celebrities.
Incorporate positive self-talk: be real with yourself, when you find yourself having negative thoughts take a step back before making self-judgment. Practice mindful awareness by taking note of what is happening in the moment when negative thoughts creep in, once you begin practicing awareness you can slow down the momentum around negative thoughts and replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. This will assist in building self-confidence.
Surround yourself with positive people: Building new life-changing rituals is so much easier when you don’t have to go through it alone. Surround yourself with a community that is motivating, supportive, and positive and encourages you to practice forgiveness and self-compassion. Asking for help is sometimes easier said than done, but getting into a circle with people who have a growth-oriented mindset will create a safe space for you to blossom into the best version of yourself.
Nourish yourself with good food: Instead of focusing on ‘your diet’, emphasize your nourishment; eat food that makes you feel good both inside and out. This is your body, your journey, you get to define what that means to you. The word ‘diet’ is almost the opposite of the body positivity movement, as ‘diet’ culture has dominated society’s beauty expectations creating stigmas around body image and weight. But just like there is no wrong way to have a body, there is no universal right way to eat; we all metabolize food differently and have individualized lifestyles. There are a ton of diets out there, paleo, keto, vegan, whole-foods, flexitarian; whatever you choose remember it's not about what you call your diet. Plan your nourishment around your health and wellness goals
Practice self-compassion and self-love: learning to love yourself and your body isn't easy. There are days when you'll feel like you want to crawl out of your skin, never get out of bed, or feel the weight of your body holding you down. Give yourself a break, and show yourself some compassion. Life can be challenging, and the least we can do is give ourselves a big hug and remember to take things one step at a time. Create a self-love mantra to practice every morning when you wake up, something you can say to yourself in the mirror or think while you're getting out of bed. Have this mantra be your go-to when your inner critic shows up to judge yourself.
Body positivity begins with your thoughts, then your words, and finally your actions. You spend more time with yourself than anyone else, and how you think about yourself, talk to yourself, and treat yourself can make or break this lifelong relationship.
As we prepare to relax and enjoy time with our loved ones, this can also be a time some may get carried away with spending and overindulging in the holiday festivities. Here are some guiding tips to help you enjoy the season without experiencing any setbacks with the progress you have made in 2022.
Office parties are a great way to connect with colleagues outside of the guise of office politics and heaps of work. However, do not let the company's alcohol tab fool you into being the drunk colleague who ends up acting out of character. The office party is still an extension of the workplace. Furthermore, stay away from office gossip, and avoid cornering your boss into discussing your bonus at the end of year office party.
The festive season is filled with events and meet-ups which often costs a lot more than what we budget for. There are also various expectations when it comes to family contributions, gifting, and going out to have fun. Most companies pay salaries a bit earlier than the usual pay date, meaning it is crucial to remember to budget for January as well. Remember to manage expectations with your loved ones by setting a budget, and make good use of your hard-earned bonus.
Do not be casual when it comes to safety. The festive season is a period of heightened crime and human trafficking. Ensure that you keep your family on the loop when it comes to your whereabouts, and apply the same rule for your children. Remember to lock doors, stay away from isolated areas, and do not drink and drive. Ensure that you perform all safety checks before leaving your home to prevent any break-ins, and stay alert when it comes to your surroundings.
If you are African you may be familiar with the African aunties with no filter, who are always ready to comment on weight-gain, marital statuses, and how other people's children are performing at school. This is not the time to be that person- remain emotionally intelligent at all times. Some of your friends and family had a tough year and just want to be surrounded by love and positivity. Commenting on people's weight, marital status, sexuality, children, fertility issues, studies, or health can make the festive season unpleasant for others. If you are on the receiving end of negative remarks, set boundaries with relatives and family members.
For some, the festive season may be the perfect time to pursue a love interest, free from the pressure of work and overwhelming lives in the city. Some consider holiday romance as a fleeting moment, that is meant to be enjoyed and forgotten about. Ideally, others are able to not only have fun but turn their holiday romance adventure into a long-lasting and fruitful relationships. Whether you want to have fun, or pursue a love interest, the festive season may be the perfect time to light up your love life, and also to remember to use protection when being intimate. However, it may not always be a good idea to rekindle lost love that sent you to therapy this year!
If there is one thing to look forward to every festive season, it would definitely be the food. There is no harm in enjoying the delicious meals prepared by those we love. However, they may not always be good for our health. Try and manage your food intake so that you do not undo all the hard work you have put in this year.
The festive season is a time meant to be filled with relaxation, rest, and enjoying time with loved ones. However, it can also be a time of stress, anxiety, and loneliness.
This might be the year for you to take a breather and time out for the sake of your mental health. Here are a few tips on dealing with holiday stress and festive blues.
Talking about feelings is hard at such an exciting and joy-filled time for others. But by talking about feelings to family and friends, it can ease your stress and anxiety. This is self-managing your mental health.
Avoid last-minute shopping as this can increase anxiety and financial stress. Buy gifts well in advance. Practice writing shopping lists as this can make shopping quick and easy. Avoid overspending at all costs.
The Festive season can be very triggering for some. From dealing with large groups, to family members asking invasive questions. It is important to know your triggers and have a strategy to manage them. For example, if large groups trigger your anxiety try shopping during off-peak times. If a particular family member tends to invoke bad memories by asking questions, try to keep your distance while not isolating yourself. Some triggers are unavoidable. Be sure to have a plan to help you through this period such as breathing exercises as well as taking a walk.
Holidays like Christmas can bring up feelings of grief for the people we have lost in our lives. If you can, talk about your loved one and share memories with those who miss them too. Try to also apportion time by yourself and for yourself to think about them and have a good cry. Remember that it is okay to have fun and enjoy yourself as well. Do not feel guilty! Enjoying yourself does not mean you do not miss them.
“Eat, drink, and be merry!” as they say, is the staple for Christmas. It is tempting to use alcohol to relax and as a coping mechanism to avoid negative emotions. Let us not forget that alcohol is also a depressant and can often make us feel worse and exaggerate conflict. Be aware and understand how alcohol affects you and your mental health. Drink in moderation.
Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you cannot participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out a community, or engage in a social event. Many may have websites, online support groups, social media sites, or virtual events that can offer support and companionship. If you are feeling stressed during the holidays, it may also help to talk to a friend or family member about your concerns. Try reaching out with a text, a call, or a video chat.
Volunteering your time or doing something to help others is also a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships. For example, consider dropping off a meal and dessert at a friend's home during the holidays.
Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can arise during the holidays. Learn to recognize your holiday triggers, such as financial pressures or personal demands, so you can combat them before they lead to a meltdown. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you can find peace and joy during the holidays.
Add a positive, healthy mindset to your Christmas wish list this festive season. Happy holidays!
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